Humanitarian Aid website to check out

http://www.unembraced.org

Our church (Kairos) is spearheading a project to bring much-needed aid to the Turkana people of Kenya...namely to help the huge population of orphans. Two men from the local church in Kenya--Moses and Joshua--are currently visiting LA. Joshua spoke at our church service this last Sunday, and both men came to our canvas group last night and answered a string of questions from us.
It is truly humbling and inspiring to talk to these guys. Joshua and his wife have 4 of their own kids, plus take care of 6 orphans. Both men have a heart to provide for and protect these 'unembraced' children of their area.
I asked them a question about what the average family in Turkana eats...vegetation doesn't grow, so there was mention of eating porridge at school, corn and beans provided by organizations like Oxfam, and lentils (or 'canadian peas') for kids at school too. Otherwise, it seems that the primary sustenance is meat...but the people can't eat meat every day, or they would eat up all of their livestock. So they may go 2 weeks feeling hungry and then eat a goat...they may decide to sacrifice even a small dinner one night in order to eat the next. And I am a spoiled American who wants snacks on top of my 3 meals a day. Geez.

Though browsing a website doesn't do justice to meeting these people in person, please feel free to browse, and join us in giving if the Spirit so moves you.

Easter Psalm

So Yesterday at Kairos, our Pastor JR had us take the last 5 minutes of his message time to write a psalm to God. 5 people shared what they wrote. I did not, but I thought I might as well put mine up here... So this is inspired by the things JR addressed in his message...


Lord,
let me not struggle
in your delverance

When you hear
the cry of my heart
but I hold the medicine
in my mouth
refusing to swallow
Let your mercy surround me

When I pray for a sign
Then defiantly look through it
Turn my eyes to yours

Rebuke me in your Love
and let your correction
be the Light that leads me.

Do not let me dawdle on the path
Or sink down
when I protest I am tired
Be the strength in me
and urge me ever onward
Discontent with everything
but pure obedience
to Your perfect, divine,
Loving will

Notable Quotes

...that have came to my attention this weekend.

1) "...experiential pain and suffering are our earthly teachers, the patient Laureates, the poets who sing to us of a higher life. If we were content on this earth we would not desire a different life. Pain and suffering instill in our souls a 'homesick' longing to be transported to a world free of pain. They remind us of the promised room God has gone and prepared ahead of us. Dickinson alludes that pain and suffering are part of God's supreme plan to make us yearn for his heavenly paradise."
--from an article by a woman named Karin L. Becker

2)[This happened after the Kairos service last night]
My friend Andrew, looking at a guy named Tom as he walked up to us eating what appeared to be a sandwich:
"Is that the communion bread?!"
Tom, totally unphased:
"With Cheese!"

Reflection from Acts 1

So at the end of the month I'm leaving my apartment, which means I have a significant amount of packing to do.
I managed to put a good dent in it all this afternoon...hopefully the rest will fall into place easily over the next week...
While I was sorting through some papers (determining what merited holding onto, and what should be sent to the trash heap), I came across something I wrote over a year ago at my first Canvas Group meeting with the Hollywood Peeps. (Canvas Group is the name for our small groups/home groups/fellowship groups at Kairos)
I meant to go back to it and dig a little deeper, but that never happened.
As it is, I don't feel right throwing out the sheet of paper without giving it its voice first.
So I thought I might as well post it on my blog...
Here it is then:

Was it a "No," or a divine "Wait"?
The disciples had been through so much.
They walked, ate, and slept in the company of their treasured Rabbi, forsaking daily the call of 'normal life.'
They lived through his arrest, trial, and torture.
They came out of the black hole of despair after Jesus rose from the dead and appeared to them.
40 days He remained with them--teaching them, encouraging them, guiding them...proving His victory over the grave.
When Jesus promised them the Holy Spirit, did it all look so clear?
The Messiah was finally coming into His own... The promise that generations of Jews had held onto was now being fulfilled...Right?
So they asked.
"Lord, will you at this time restore the Kingdom to Israel?"
A simple Yes or No would suffice.
They got neither. "It is not for you to know..." Jesus replied.
And they trusted Him this time.
This is our legacy that those who came before us have left an example of.
We may want things to make sense,
to all come together,
to be clear...
but when God tells us, "It is not for you to know," will we find a way to content ourselves and keep following whole-heartedly...?

God Writing #38 (a) Rediscovering Heritage

Ok, it seems like forever ago that I posted my last God writing, but I do have one more in the old notebook, so I thought I should type it up while I had the chance. Granted, it's a bit long. Though that sometimes doesn't deter me, I'm a wee bit short on time, so I'm going to split it up.

1/24/07
My church here in LA has been following the church year calendar for a few months now. We are currently in the season of 'Epiphany', which is a term I remember hearing frequently in the church I grew up in, but never really understood.
This last Sunday I had an interesting encounter with understanding/connecting with the various scriptures for the week. Before the church service, I had to laugh when my friend Eric asked a few people if we had read the verses our pastor pointed out (apparently there's some sort of universal lectionary that many churches draw from each week of the church year to base their messages on.) Eric commented that this week's selection seemed to be one of the randomest conglomerations he could imagine. I had skimmed a few of the verses, so I could identify with what he was talking about!
After the service though, I went home and decided to read through the selection again. My motivation mostly sprung from the fact that our Canvas Group leader had asked us to pick one of the verses to meditate on before we met again. As I read through the varied texts this time, my heart sped up a bit as I began to discover a sort of theme...

Earlier that day, I had lunch with some friends. In the course of our conversation, we talked a little about the recent history of China. China is a country that has been around a lot longer than the United States. The little I know about the country's history leads me to believe they have had one of the richest cultures in the world--meaning they have put out amazing works of the arts, as well as intellectual accomplishments.
What I didn't realize was that the cultural revolution in the 60s stripped most of that rich heritage away from the Chinese people of today. The current generation is emerging from an entirely different frame of reference than their ancestors. That seems tragic to me.
Perhaps I shouldn't be so shocked. This sort of thing is not uncommon--even on American soil. Native Americans were stripped of their cultures when Europeans settled here. African slaves brought forth a new generation that knew life in a way quite foreign to that of their homeland. Even on a much more benevolent scale--my mother's grandparents came to the U.S. from Norway, yet I don't know how to say a single word in Norwegian!

Nehemiah Chapter 8 tells us about a people who also lost their culture. The Israelites had been taken as captives to Babylon where they remained for 70 years before returning to Jerusalem. Only the youngest children from before would still be alive to return. Naturally then, most of the Israelites probably experienced some sort of disconnect from their original culture.
Nehemiah 8:5-6: "Ezra opened the book. All the people could see him because he was standing above them; and as he opened it, the people all stood up. Ezra praised the LORD, the great God; and all the people lifted their hands and responded, 'Amen! Amen!' Then they bowed down and worshiped the LORD with their faces to the ground..." " They read from the Book of the Law of God, making it clear and giving the meaning so that the people could understand what was being read. Then Nehemiah the governor, Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who were instructing the people said to them all, 'This day is sacred to the LORD your God. Do not mourn or weep.' For all the people had been weeping as they listened to the words of the law. Nehemiah said, 'Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength'." (vs 8-10)
"Day after Day, from the first day to the last, Ezra read from the Book of the Law of God. They celebrated the feast for seven days, and on the eight day, in accordance with the regulation, there was an assembly." (vs. 18)
"Those of Israelite descent had separated themselves from all foreigners. They stood in their places and confessed their sins and the wickedness of their fathers. They stood where they were and read from the Book of the Law of the LORD their God for a quarter of the day, and spent another quarter in confession and in worshiping the LORD their God." (9:2-3)

What an event! The people of God were rediscovering their heritage!
I've heard "The joy of the LORD is your strength" thrown around a lot, but I see it specifically making sense in this context. The people were ready to grieve over their sins--I'm guessing they discovered they were living very far from how they should be--but God says, "Don't mourn!" I think His joy was that His children had returned to Him again--and He wanted them to feel that joy too!
This bit of history also reminds me of another bit. 2 Kings 22 records how King Josiah of Judah re-discovered the Book of the Law and tore his robes when he heard its words. God honors Josiah's renewal of the covenant, but unfortunately, most of Israel doesn't have a similar heart...

[to be continued...}

Quick Update

Hey Friends!
Sorry the blogging has been a bit sparse over the last couple of weeks. Life has been keeping me busy!

So I helped out with Kairos' Vacation Bible School a week ago.
It was quite an experience, and I'm glad I did it.
I got to lead a group of 4-5 little kids (ages ranging from 5-11), and encourage/connect with twice as many. It's really heart-warming to see how open little kids are--how much they crave your attention, how much they want a hug, how much they want to come up with a right answer, etc.
It's also really cool to see their personalities come out. I really enjoyed the opportunity to encourage a couple of kids when I saw that they excelled in something too.
On the other hand, I think this experience reconfirmed to me that I'm much more geared to working with teens. There's only so much intellectual stuff you can discuss with a 7 year old. We had one bible point each day (eg. God is real; God is with us; God is in control...), as well as a bible verse. If the kids remembered the point, they were doing well. Three hours to drive home one point feels a bit frustrating, but I guess if it became real to them then, it was worth it.

Switching gears, at work this week, I officially started writing the schedule. I've been wanting to take this task over basically since I started back over a year ago, so it's really nice to finally get around to it. We have a complex computer system (or so it seems) to help write the schedule out...it feels a bit like playing a game, but I really enjoy it. My manager is glad to be able to release this duty to someone who is a more 'linear' thinker...writing schedules was torturous to him. (He's only had to do it for a month or so though, as a former Assistant Manager headed it up before.) What's more, I've already been complimented on a good job, which is really nice.

Ok, well, time to start up my laundry so I'd better get going. Hopefully I'll have more interesting things to post about soon. :)

Biting off as much as I can chew...

So after waffling about it for quite awhile, today is the day I told my pal Audrey I would volunteer for the VBS (Vacation Bible School) our church is putting on in less than a month.
The theme of the week is going to be 'Avalanche Ranch', and this is one critter I'm sure to see popping up all over the place...

I have never done a VBS before...unless you count the one or two I went to when I was a wee tyke.
It's also been a goodly amount of time since I taught Sunday School or anything...
I get excited about Youth ministry...but teens are my preferred age bracket.
It's not that I think I can't connect with the younger crowd, it's just starting to be a little more out of my comfort zone. A child here or there is one thing, but like 7 all at once is a completely different animal.
Hmmm...
In appreciation of irony, I have to share this tidbit too. While my summer looks to having me work with the elementary crowd, my dear friend Cheryl (up in Minnesota) is spending her summer working at a camp and stretching herself by working with older youth (aka teenagers). She's much more the elementary-friendly leader. Maybe this VBS thing will give me a better view of her world...

We'll see how it goes, I guess.
In other related news, I'm concerned I'm beginning to tarnish the efficient image I work so hard to uphold. ;) One of the ministries I serve on at Kairos is called Soulfood. Essentially, it's taking the cd copy of the week's message, editing it (taking out pauses and getting it into proper computer form), and then putting it up on a backstage version of the website. Someone else makes the message accessible.
I took over this ministry around October to help out...and went along at a good clip for quite a while...then in April I experienced massive technical difficulties that made my job impossible to complete. So...the good news is that the problems were figured out recently and it works again. The bad news is that I've got quite a backlog to work with now, people all over world are getting impatient, and I don't have a whole lot of time to devote to this stuff.

Bottom line = Friends, if you feel like praying for me...by all means!

Uncompromising Moments of Joy

[random pic found on Google]

It's a great feeling when you have a smile that comes from your heart.
When it's not an action you decide to partake in, but one you are helpless to supress.
I remember when I was a kid, when it was my birthday and the cake would be rolled in, and people would start singing the Happy Birthday song, I'd get a smile like that. I always fought real hard against it (don't ask me why! I think I was half crazy...maybe I still am), but it was there nonetheless.
Akin to this is the feeling of being paralyzed by laughter. I remember playing with my cousins and uncle when I was 8 or 9 (or 10?), and we were playing this kickball game or something. My uncle had me laughing so hard I just simply couldn't run. I knew it was the most important thing in the game for me to do, but I could only stand there and laugh.
Years later I get that feeling every now and then when I'm in on a very good joke with a group of people.
These are moments that make life LIFE, I think.

My friend Audrey spoke @ Kairos a few weeks back when I was out of town. I got to read her outline though, and I was struck by a quote she mentioned which was essentially, "Let Hope have you."

I had an uncompromising moment of joy today out of the blue. As I was pondering this, I thought I could see some correlation to moments like this and the enigmatic idea of Hope. I might not be able to concretely disect how the ideas are related, but I think it's a truth.

Uh...that's all, I guess!

What is Reality?

Last night @ Kairos, Greg used the following quote in his message:

"Our existence may cease to be a song; it may cease even to be a beautiful lament… but our existence is still a story." –G.K. Chesterton

I don't know who this Chesterton guy is, but I very much appreciate his sentiment.

In my Canvas Group, we are currently attempting to read through Dallas Willard's book, The Divine Conspiracy. We've pretty much just started it, and a couple weeks ago we discussed the intro to the book and part of Chapter One. I don't have my copy with me at the moment, so this isn't verbatim, but at one point Willard says something like...

"The Law is something you have to obey whether you want to or not...Dogma is something you have to believe whether you want to or not..." He then goes on to suggest that Jesus was much more 'subversive'. In other words--or what I take that to mean, anyway--is that Jesus offers the truth, but it's up to us to choose to believe it.

Call it the age-old struggle of Faith, I guess.

During our discussion, my little group humored me as I launched on a monologue about The Neverending Story and how one of the themes it presents is a crisis of faith. [So you can call me a perpetual Child of the 80's, but I swear that movie is one of the best ever made...and the symbolism within it is so rich and plentiful, that I could probably create a whole Bible study out of it!] One of the two main protagonists (yes, I think the movie has two!) is a boy named Bastion. As the movie progresses you see the tension between practical reality and fantastical reality. Ultimately Bastion has to choose which he will believe in.

And in a lot of ways, I think so do we Christians. I don't know that I'm feeling eloquent enough to present my full view on this at the moment, but it does bring me around to my point...

[Yes, I do have a point in here somewhere...]

You can take a series of five factual events and make a story out of them. However, depending on who is telling the story (aka who the author is), you could end up with extremely different interpretations of how these events are linked. Point of View in the storytelling also offers variations. More often than not, if there is a narrator, that person knows significantly more about the overall story than any of the characters in the actual plot.

Going back to that original quote, if we look at our lives as stories...I find the most tension is in being limited by my point of view and yet needing to remember who the real storyteller is. When I remind myself that the Lord is the author bringing meaning to all the threads in my plot, I can relax and imagine how He would tell my story...which is very different (and much more better) than how I would tell it myself.

stage fright and cavities

So I haven't been posting much these days...my apologies to anyone who cares. I'm getting ready for a 10 day trip back to the midwest starting next Thursday (as in I leave LA then). I'm trying to tighten up my itinerary. It takes up a lot of my brain space. This might seem like a not-so-complex task, but I can take it to the nth level. Most of my 10 days are filled with a few different get togethers, meetups with friends, and lots and lots of food. Oy! I'm going to have to start ordering toast at restaurants or something. ;)
Anyhoo, two anecdotes from the last couple of days.
Sunday I had the opportunity to give the introduction to communion @ church. I was happy to be asked to do this, but sort of forgot that me behind a microphone is seldom a triumphant event. I tried to edit down a possible 10 minute discourse of my thoughts on communion down to about 3 minutes. And as soon as I walked up to begin (ok, before I even walked up to begin) my adrenaline was pumping, I got that familiar choking sensation, and my hands were shaking like mini-earthquakes. Ultimately, I muddled through it all...not sure that it had much lasting impact other than the practicality of letting people know the sermon was over and they were welcome to stand up and get some bread & grape juice. Afterward I felt rather embarrassed too. But, that's probably just my personality. I could probably deliver something akin to the Gettysburg address and still feel stupid afterwards. Heck, I think Lincoln did himself!

Anecdote #2 is that I went to the dentist today. The dentist in LA is nothing like the dentist in Minnesota or Wisconsin. But I guess beggars can't be choosers and there's enough people in this city to employ even the least personable tooth professional. I suffered through my xrays and exam to find out I have yet another cavity. Six months ago I got 2 or 3 fillings (I forget) and an accompanying migraine. A year ago I received 2 fillings as well. I used to NEVER get cavities! Not until I hit my 20's...and I take better care of my teeth now! I almost wonder if it's all a hoax and the anti-cavity mouthwash I use actually causes decay or something. Harumph!

Anyway...I guess I'll deal somehow. Yet another sign that I'm "getting old".

Prayers for VT

If you live in the U.S. and watch any tv in the course of a day, you've probably heard the news about the shootings at Virginia Tech.
Seems that some details have yet to unfold (like who did this and why), but essentially, 32 people were killed at the college today, and more were injured.
Of course the news of any school shooting is disturbing, but it's a whole other level when you know people who may have been caught in the tragedy.
The church I am a part of in Los Angeles is comprised of a lot of Virginia Tech Alumni. Our founding pastors JR and Joe came to Los Angeles from NLCF (New Life Campus...something), which is a church that is still large and thriving in Blacksburg, VA.
It was a relief for me to hear that my friends the Castros are both fine. But I am still grieved for the community.
JR sent most of us in Kairos an email this afternoon asking us to pray for NLCF in the days following this tragedy. If you feel inclined to join us in prayer, ask God to use those at NLCF to minister to the community in the aftermath of the shootings.

An alternate view of what JR said

Don't you hate it when you wake up feeling more tired than when you went to sleep? Argh...such is my fate today. Thankfully the walk to the library (from which I type this) has helped to wake me up a bit. Maybe I had too many intense dreams...including a nightmare about my granparents' farm, and another nightmare that started off with me seeing a beta fish on the front license plate of a car (as in a real fish living in a small area over the plate), which turned into a turtle, escaped from the license-plate tank, and then began to grow (like the blob) and wreak havoc on the immediate community. Oy.

But I'm not here to regale you with tales of my semi-conscious adventures. At least not today.
Today I thought I would take a few minutes to offer some commentary on the message we had at church last night. My disclaimer is that I mean to offer another perspective, not to dis our pastor or anyone else.

So last night our message was taken from the text in Luke that somewhat mirrors Matthew's Sermon on the Mount. The difference is that it offers 4 blessings and 4 converse woes, instead of a list of blessings. Inevitably, we ended up talking about issues of economics--poor people and rich people. Our pastor, JR, was very candid with his initial reluctance to preach from the text. By the end of his message though, his candid-ness revealed a huge amount of conviction in his own heart which culminated in him almost not being able to get through the prayer at the end. (For those of you who don't attend Kairos, hopefully you still follow what I just wrote).

One of JR's major points was that it is a tragic sin that we...shall we say 'rich Americans'...are seldom in relationships with people who are poor. In other words, we may give to the poor, but we don't really know them.
Many hearts were touched last night, and by the sounds of sniffling filling the room, many tears were shed.
Another staff member came up to introduce communion after JR left the front. Though not showing the same degree of emotion as JR had, this person seemed convicted as well, and prayed honestly about how he feels a lot of us (himself included) are living very far from what Jesus commanded.

So where am I in all of this? Well, go ahead and tell me if you think I'm just a rebellious spirit, but I definitely felt like I was on a different wavelength. The closest I got to crying was in sympathy of the convicted souls around me.
What's my beef? Do I have a stone for a heart? Are you asking yourself these things now?
Well, it's like this...
I struggle with discouragement a lot. It's easy for me to get hit with a list of all the ways I'm not measuring up, and to ponder what a disappointment I must be to Christ. But sometimes--such as last night--I realize that I'm human. Sometimes I think about what solid devotion and complete loyalty to the Lord look like in our world today. For as ripped up as JR was last night about the disconnect he felt toward the poor, he also mentioned that he had spent the entire day on Saturday reading through the text and wrestling with what God was trying to say through it. Did it escape him that God might be very pleased that he would have that sort of fervor?

Sometimes I think that as a church (not just kairos, but any group of believers), we beat up on ourselves too much. I'm not saying we should just be lax and self-satisfied either...but really, why continually heap guilt on ourselves and then wonder why contentment is so hard to reach?

My mentality is this...let's be good stewards. If in the context of your life, you have the chance to work at an orphanage in India, then do it! But if God wants to keep you as a pillar of righteousness in your own community, don't feel bad about it. You know? If you are convicted to bust out of your context, then do it! Everyone has their own struggles in life...even people considered well-off here in the U.S. can feel like they are in destitute poverty. Even people who are financially well-off, are not immune from the trials and arrows of life.

So that's my 2 cents. Hopefully it doesn't sound arrogant, as it's not meant to be. Any comments from the crowd????

thoughts being provoked...cue radio silence

Yeah, so...not that anyone is really in grief over the fact that my blogging this week has been almost nil, but I apologize anyway.
I'm in the process of ironing out details for moving and such...so lots has been going on.

A couple of interesting (to me anyway!) things...
Moving is always stressful, so I once again have found myself with a plate full of recent mishaps that contribute to my frustration levels reaching for the sky. Some of these mishaps are just rotten timing...such as last Friday when I met up with a prof from the college in New Zealand I volunteered at, as he passed through LAX on his way home from visiting his daughter in AZ. It was a lovely opportunity to say hi to an old friend, don't get me wrong. But just one of the handful of things gone awry was that I misunderstood where we were going to meet...
I got in well before his plane arrived, and stood in a little "Wait for Passengers Here" area in the baggage check. Turns out he didn't have baggage to pick up, so he didn't come all the way down to where I was standing. When he called my cell phone and I asked where he was, he said at the exit of the Baggage Check "between one and two and three and four". As I was at terminal 1, I stupidly thought he meant he was standing at an exit outside a different terminal. So I walked (in flip-flops) all the way to terminal 4 before I realized that each airline had baggage checks numbered 1,2, 3, 4 and there was a space between the 1,2 and the 3,4. So I power-walked back in about 15 minutes (and got a bit sweaty) and caught him just as he was trying to call me again... That's one of probably close to 20 stupid things that have happened to me this last week.

This prompted a thought as I was driving to Hollywood a couple of days back and listening to some Muse.
I was thinking about what Christians have to offer to the world, or show how they are different. I was thinking about how we react to the myriad of problems and stresses in our lives...and how maybe a number of things get thrown at us for the specific purpose of modeling what a healthy way to deal with problems/stress is...
That also lead me to the thought of how revolutionary we could all be if we were able to change our mindsets to seeing things through the eyes of faith more...each failure, each mistake, each mishap, each wrong committed against us, etc. as the very catalysts we need to prove our faith is genuine and not of ourselves; as the roaring success it may very well be seen as in the spiritual realm. Could you even imagine how to deal with a people group that percieved every blow as a triumph? I think maybe that's what James had in mind when he talked about considering trials of every kind as pure joy.
Anyway, just thinking-thinking. [sidenote, this train of thought was greatly influenced by the Muse song I was listening to at the moment--"Invincible"..."During this struggle they will pull us down/but please, please let's use this chance to turn things around/and tonight we can truly say, 'Together we're Invincible.'"]

I have also encountered so many car accidents this week, it's crazy. Yesterday, I think I contributed to one as I waited to make a left turn into my work's parking lot. Traffic backed up behind me, and after I did park, I heard a few scary sounds, then a siren. A minivan had flipped over a block behind the traffic light. At least no one was hurt...

And tonight at 'canvas group' we had some serious conversation about the first Christian church in Acts and what that translates to today. Yes, I'm sure some of you are thinking--"old hat!", but the conversation really inspired several fresh trains of thought in my head. It was refreshing...even if I was being nagged by a headache for the duration. I'm very excited about taking the opportunity to build into this group of people for more than just a year... Moving around so much has it's advantages, but it's been a long time since I could say, "I think I'm going to be involved with this group of people for the remainder of my forseeable life" or something like that. Of course, the joke might be on me, and maybe I'll be moving again next year...I dunno...but the promise/hope is there, and it makes me happy.
Yay.

So...yeah...moving into a new apartment this weekend, and I'm not sure how long before I have regular internet access again. So...cue radio silence. It might only be a few days, but if it's a few weeks, I'll be sure to [benenvolently] exploit my current pals for the chance to at least give out an update or two and to check my email.

For now...I go to eat Spinach Salad and watch a few episodes of an Invader Zim dvd my coworker insisted I borrow. :)
Peace Out, my Peeps.

[P.S. I lifted the above googled image from a really-cool looking blog:
http://www.jimmartin.typepad.com/ ...search for an image for "Pause" and find another amazing Christian-influenced blog--what are the odds? :) ]

Post #2 of the night--diversity is good, and commentary on Little Miss Sunshine

It's been an interesting day or two for a few different reasons...
Don't worry, I won't give you an exhaustive list. :)

I think this will work better if I intersperse my thoughts rather than try to separate them...so...

Diversity is something I greatly appreciate in life. Every now and then I feel like I have these divine sorts of moments where I just get it...how we are all made differently, and yet we fit together, and that's the beautiful thing. I don't see things the way you do. But, if you share your viewpoint with me, my eyes might open up to it, and my realm of sight expand an inch or two. OR, I might just totally not understand it at all, but still love the fact that you see it so clearly.
Am I being too vague, or do you follow me?

Last night I got together with a few of the guys I work with. During the ensuing conversations, I couldn't help but smile at this very thing. At one point, G. said something that made H. totally bust a gut laughing. I was clueless as to what was funny. Later, H was voicing some commentary (think subconscious Homer Simpson) that made me completely crack up, but that no one else seemed to notice. I love that crazy sort of give-and-take in friendships. :)
And tonight at Canvas Group, as E. was leading our Bible Study, if I was a fly on the wall I might be tempted to think, "Ugh, what a flop!" But it completely wasn't! The things he brought up ignited a few sort of introspective revelations/reminders/clarifications/new lines of thought in my mind, and probably in a few of the other people that were around.
As I was leaving, E. thanked me for my involvement in the discussion that was had, and made a comment about me being able to have taught the thing instead of him.
I sort of shrugged that off--thanked him, but told him he did a fine job--and was thinking as I drove home..."I bet he has no idea how his unique line of thinking has inspired me--and from a bit of passage I've read many times already..." In other words, even if it had been me to present the same exact material, there would have been something missing that only E. was able to bring to the floor.

Speaking of canvas group, I also got a chance to gobble down some Korean food before it started as E and his wife are of Korean descent. Korean curry and this familiar-tasting meat...mmm...so good. Is it weird that tasting these things again after a few years made me almost want to cry?...

"What about the movie, already?!" You ask.
Getting there...I swear!

Ok, so I saw the film Little Miss Sunshine last night with coworkers JP and G. Excellent film! It was funny and poignant--the best of both worlds.
I love movies that let you get inside the characters (a la The Royal Tennenbaums), and this movie did just that! (Plus it's directed by Johnathan Dayton and Valerie Faris whose names I recognize because of their former production of music videos--including Neil Finn's "She Will Have Her Way".)
Steve Carrelle's performance is great, as is Greg Kinnear's (so much so that **I** wanted to punch him) and the rest of the cast's...the performance that I think stole the show though was the kid who played Duane.
Duane is a teenage boy who doesn't have any friends (he says he hates everyone), is constantly reading Nietzche (excuse any misspelling) and who doesn't speak as he took a vow of silence until such time as he graduates high school and gets into the air force.
****Spoiler****
There's one scene where Duane realizes he's colorblind and therefore unable to fly jets. He flips out completely and his inner turmoil is so convincing that I was blinking back tears.
At the end of his freakout, his mom is unable to sweet-talk him back into their vehicle (they are all on their way to a little beauty pageant). His little sister Olive simply walks over to him, puts an arm around him, and lays her head on his shoulder.
Even though just seconds before, Duane told his family he hated them all and called them all losers, Olive's love brings him back around. In only a second he regains his composure and says, "OK, let's go."

That made me think about my big brother a bit. I remember chasing him around when we were little, trying to give him a kiss. Our family wasn't big on affection, so I learned in short order to quit trying. And we aren't exactly close.
But yet, I think I value my brother's opinion over that of most people that I know. I got a voicemail from him tonight (interesting timing), wherein he just called me to see how things were going. He didn't need anything, he just thought he'd call. That's the first time ever. And again, thinking about it much makes me watery-eyed.

I got a letter from my Grandma in the mail yesterday too. And the night before I got a letter from the group home I worked at in MN. I had written to the residents and staff shortly after moving out here, and was surprised at how much I had missed them. I kind of gave up on getting any correspondance back though, so it was really touching to get this letter.

Another great thing about the movie (yes, circling back to that!) is that at the end, the family exhibits the importance of love and devotion over caring what anyone else thinks. It might be a tad bit uncouth, but it's still a fantastic example. I almost wished I could be at this fake pageant to stand up and clap along with Olive's dance routine as well. :)

This morning when I got up for work I felt more than a bit Blah. Emotional Hangover or something...I don't know. But despite the yucky heart-state I found myself in for the first half of the day, it's all been good, these musings and social paths...
That's all I have to say for now. Sue me if you think I'm being long-winded...but it IS my blog. ;)

Or not...

Fitting in with my last post, my plans for this weekend took a different direction than I had intended...

I had been planning on going to Tiajuana today (my first trip to Mexico) to help people from Kairos (my current church) build an orphanage.
I knew it was going to become a bit of a push as I closed last night and didn't get home till about 2am. We were supposed to meet up and leave around 6:45 am. A few different things popped up in the last 24 hours, and the final deal-breaker was that V (my pal S's husband) got very sick to his stomach last night and finally threw in the towel on the trip @ 6am this morning. I was a bit disappointed, but ultimately not sad, and went back to sleep with only a little guilt...

It works out all for the better, mind you. There are a multitude of reasons I can't get into right now, but one I will mention is this: I am hopefully going to go see Cinjun Tate perform at The Hotel Cafe in Hollywood tonight.

Cinjun Tate (in the pic he's at the Mic, while brother Shelby is behind) was the lead singer of one of my FAVORITE bands now defunct, Remy Zero. I saw them live about 3 times (maybe 4 if you count an in-store performance at the Electric Fetus). Cinjun's other claim to fame was that he used to be married to Alyssa Milano. Didn't work out...alas.

My concert-friendly pal Andrew has plans for the night, but thankfully I don't have to brave the intimate venue (I saw Lisa Germano perform there a few years back, and was even on the guest list thanks to one Benevolent Sebastian Steinberg...anyway the place is rather non-descript on the outside, but very cool on the inside) alone. My friend Scott G. has agreed to accompany me, so unless there are any road bumps in the next few hours, I should be able to have an enjoyable night and a full report in the future.

In other news...I had asked for prayers at the end of last week. God has answered me pretty clearly, which is great. I've been staying with my pals S and V. Kairos will soon be splitting into two churches--East Side and West Side--and I had been thinking about finding a 2 bedroom apartment to rent with them (S&V), and joining the West Side peeps. However, something about the direction just wasn't giving me peace...
Long story short, my direction has been altered a bit. I'm now going to try to find a place to live in or near Hollywood, and probably a roommate too. I'm going to plug into the East side group, and hopefully be able to get involved with a sort of youth group partnership between East Side Kairos and another church called Hope International. More details as they come into focus.