So I am Back IN Style

AS you can imagine, I am shocked at Spot's resourcefulness, intelligence, and good looks. Somehow, I continuously underestimate the boy. I'll work harder on that in the future.

;o)

An alternate view of what JR said

Don't you hate it when you wake up feeling more tired than when you went to sleep? Argh...such is my fate today. Thankfully the walk to the library (from which I type this) has helped to wake me up a bit. Maybe I had too many intense dreams...including a nightmare about my granparents' farm, and another nightmare that started off with me seeing a beta fish on the front license plate of a car (as in a real fish living in a small area over the plate), which turned into a turtle, escaped from the license-plate tank, and then began to grow (like the blob) and wreak havoc on the immediate community. Oy.

But I'm not here to regale you with tales of my semi-conscious adventures. At least not today.
Today I thought I would take a few minutes to offer some commentary on the message we had at church last night. My disclaimer is that I mean to offer another perspective, not to dis our pastor or anyone else.

So last night our message was taken from the text in Luke that somewhat mirrors Matthew's Sermon on the Mount. The difference is that it offers 4 blessings and 4 converse woes, instead of a list of blessings. Inevitably, we ended up talking about issues of economics--poor people and rich people. Our pastor, JR, was very candid with his initial reluctance to preach from the text. By the end of his message though, his candid-ness revealed a huge amount of conviction in his own heart which culminated in him almost not being able to get through the prayer at the end. (For those of you who don't attend Kairos, hopefully you still follow what I just wrote).

One of JR's major points was that it is a tragic sin that we...shall we say 'rich Americans'...are seldom in relationships with people who are poor. In other words, we may give to the poor, but we don't really know them.
Many hearts were touched last night, and by the sounds of sniffling filling the room, many tears were shed.
Another staff member came up to introduce communion after JR left the front. Though not showing the same degree of emotion as JR had, this person seemed convicted as well, and prayed honestly about how he feels a lot of us (himself included) are living very far from what Jesus commanded.

So where am I in all of this? Well, go ahead and tell me if you think I'm just a rebellious spirit, but I definitely felt like I was on a different wavelength. The closest I got to crying was in sympathy of the convicted souls around me.
What's my beef? Do I have a stone for a heart? Are you asking yourself these things now?
Well, it's like this...
I struggle with discouragement a lot. It's easy for me to get hit with a list of all the ways I'm not measuring up, and to ponder what a disappointment I must be to Christ. But sometimes--such as last night--I realize that I'm human. Sometimes I think about what solid devotion and complete loyalty to the Lord look like in our world today. For as ripped up as JR was last night about the disconnect he felt toward the poor, he also mentioned that he had spent the entire day on Saturday reading through the text and wrestling with what God was trying to say through it. Did it escape him that God might be very pleased that he would have that sort of fervor?

Sometimes I think that as a church (not just kairos, but any group of believers), we beat up on ourselves too much. I'm not saying we should just be lax and self-satisfied either...but really, why continually heap guilt on ourselves and then wonder why contentment is so hard to reach?

My mentality is this...let's be good stewards. If in the context of your life, you have the chance to work at an orphanage in India, then do it! But if God wants to keep you as a pillar of righteousness in your own community, don't feel bad about it. You know? If you are convicted to bust out of your context, then do it! Everyone has their own struggles in life...even people considered well-off here in the U.S. can feel like they are in destitute poverty. Even people who are financially well-off, are not immune from the trials and arrows of life.

So that's my 2 cents. Hopefully it doesn't sound arrogant, as it's not meant to be. Any comments from the crowd????

This last week

Hey Blog readers...
My roommate H's laptop got broken last weekend, so that has sorely limited my already-limited online time. :( Maybe one of these days I'll snap and buy my own computer...
I also had a friend out here land in the hospital after a scary weekend. Ok that sounds a bit too open to interpretation so I'll add a little more info--she had two massive seizures, and has not experienced these before. She's doing pretty well now, but the doctors are still a bit baffled, so any prayer for her (Amy is her name) is welcome.
The cool thing (?) about the experience is just that I've felt a little bit affirmed in my ability to hear from God. Sometimes I think I'm absolutely deaf to divine communication, and other times I think I'm just increadibly stupid and misinterpret everything. So it's cool when I can think, Wow, I got something right. Just a week or two ago I decided to add a text-messaging option to my cell phone--300 texts for $5/month I think. This was after seeing that using 36 texts in a month cost me about $5.60. I decided to be proactive...a rare occurance. Turns out it's good that I did. I've sent and recieved oodles of texts in the last week (mostly regarding Amy), so I would be facing some serious charges if I hadn't done this. I know it's a little thing, ultimately, but it's encouraging to me.
My job proceeds onward as well. A couple of weeks ago I was uber-stressed out...now I'm mostly alright, if a tiny bit disgruntled.
This morning I had a massive dream about not having a place to live...I woke up gritting my teeth, which is not pleasant.
All in all, life is ok at the moment though. My best wishes to all...

God Writing #37: Unlikely Leaders Part II

11/19/06
Simon Peter is possibly Jesus' most famous disciple. After Jesus' resurrection and ascension, Peter emerged as the figurehead among Jesus' followers. There's no arguing that the Lord raised Peter up as a strong leader. Reading the book of Acts is rather amazing as it chronicles numerous miracles among the first Christians, and the beginning of the spread of the Gospel. Peter is the champion of Acts, rivaled only by Paul--who God also chooses to use mightily.
Taking a look at the formation of this tremendous leader almost makes me wonder if he is the same person who was counted among the twelve disciples...

Simon Peter, more than any other disciple, was publicly rebuked and corrected by Jesus. He put his foot in his mouth, demonstrated his lack of faith and wisdom, and strikes me as being the proverbial bull in a china shop.
Here are a few examples from Scripture that seem to exemplify why Jesus would NOT pick Peter to be the Captain of his Team:

Matthew 14:28-31: "'Lord, if it's you,' Peter replied, 'tell me to come to you on the water.' 'Come,' he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord save me!' Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. 'You of little faith,' he said, 'why did you doubt?'"

Matthew 15:15-16: "Peter said, 'Explain the parable to us.' 'Are you still so dull?' Jesus asked them."

Matthew 16: 22-23: "Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. 'Never, Lord!' he said. 'This shall never happen to you!' Jesus turned and said to Peter, 'Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.'"

Matthew 26:33-35: "Peter replied, 'Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will!' 'I tell you the truth,' Jesus answered, 'this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.' But Peter declared, 'Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.' And all the other disciples said the same."
[And we know how that played out...]

John 18:10-11: "Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it and struck the high priest's servant, cutting off his right ear (The servant's name was Malchus). Jesus commanded Peter, 'Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup The Father has given me?'"

After Jesus' resurrection, John 21 details a beautiful episode where Jesus reinstates Peter after his denial. During Jesus' trial, Peter denied knowing him three different times. John 21:15-17 recounts Jesus giving Peter the chance to correct these three denials by asking him three different times, "Do you love me?"
Verse 17 tells us, "Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, 'Do you love me?' He said, 'Lord, you know all things; You know that I love you.'"
Even at such a poignant and tender moment, Peter was not above Jesus' rebuke.
Jesus prophecies that Peter's obedience to him will include dying as a martyr.
Verses 20-22: "Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them...When Peter saw him, he asked, 'Lord, what about him?' Jesus answered, 'If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.'"

At times I have found it easy to imagine myself in Peter's shoes. Admittedly, my own pride has stung at Jesus' rebukes...
"Geez, Lord, at least I tried walking on the water--did any of your other disciples? Tell ME to have faith...!" "For crying out loud, Jesus, I'm just trying to understand you better--you know?! Call ME dull...!" "Dang, Lord, I'm just trying to keep things positive. Call ME Satan...!" "Man, Jesus, I'm just trying to demonstrate my loyalty--why can't you take a compliment?!" "What is this--first you wanted me to have a sword, then you yell at me for using it?! Did I miss the memo?!! I'm just trying to fight FOR you--you know?!"

For as much honor as it seems Jesus stripped from Peter, he seemed to hold plenty of love for the man. Peter was invited into Jesus' inner-circle, being present for Jesus' transfiguration and during his gut-wrenching time of prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane.
In Luke 22:31-32 we read of Jesus' special prayer for and charge to Peter.
"'Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you [plural] as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.'"
And, of course, Jesus lovingly forgives Peter's denial of him.

So why all the rough words along the way? My opinion is that often times, God humbles a person before he lifts that person up to be a leader.
Joseph and David were humbled by their families/upbringing. David, Saul, and Gideon were humbled by their stations in their respective families--ie, the "least of the least". Peter was humbled by Jesus' public rebuke. And Moses, seemingly, was humbled by his past and his character. In fact, Moses--possibly revered as the greatest leader ever--excelled in humility. Numbers 12:3 says, "(Now Moses was a very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.)"

In God's family there are people who seem born to lead, and there are those of us who seem born NOT to lead. If we all follow God's call on our lives, we might end up rather surprised to find what camp we really belong in.